PMS sucks:(

So, after 9 hrs sleep last night, overslept til around 8 this morning and still felt like garbage. PMS'ing big time....ughhhh! just wasn't feeling it today. Fuse was really short. ended up yelling at E a couple times during school and made him cry. make me feel like such a failure....it's like i can't control it once a month. the yelling just emits from my mouth even when i'm not even feeling that mad. really stinks. had to stop and give hugs and tell him i was sorry and Mommy was being naughty and unkind by yelling. In my defense, i shouldn't hafta tell someone TWENTY TIMES to stop PICKING THEIR NOSE! it was getting on my nerves and distracting me soooo bad. he had a tissue right there. i think sometimes he gets fixed on doing something and can't control it. after i made him blow like 3x really good, i  resorted to flicking his hand every time i saw him reach to dig. he stopped after about the 3rd time i flicked. ughhh. but yeah, the yelling has to stop. I remember Jessica telling me about some natural vitamin or something that you take once a month and it helps your pms symptoms immensely. need to ask her again or just start researching it. i also remember asking my gyno after E was born about having that PMDD, bc i would go almost completely pscycho-mode once a month, yelling, being ridiculous and just almost falling off the deep end. with my depression tendencies, it's a rough line to walk. he looked at me like i was from outer space and then said all they do for PMDD is to give anti-depressants once a month?! i'm like, um, no. for one, it takes 4-6 weeks for most those to get into your system and actually balance your chemicals out, and what's it going to do taking it for one week a month? been on them before and it's no walk in the park. i would literally rather walk in the park or work out and it would do the same thing for me. so no thank you. i need to find something natural. this has got to stop.
i'm in such a state of mind today i'm gonna prob'ly go to bed early again. i just feel like crying for no reason. my bod is just worn out.
 On a better note, school went great today, besides the 2 moments of yelling, and E is really having fun w/ it. yesterday was even better bc R took M to work w/ him and E wasn't nearly as distracted as he usually is. Today went well even w/ M here and i involved him more. He loves to be a part but you hafta make it seem fun or he's out. so funny. he is soo smart. knows all his numbers 1-10 by sight and prob'ly 95% of his letters by sight too. so proud, esp since i've not really worked w/ him much. amazing how that 2nd one picks it up so fast. after school i made us all a picnic lunch and packed the bikes and kickball in the car and hit up the park. it was hot as nuts outside, but they had a blast. then we went to DD to get some icecream and water to cool off and then to Wally for Milk and etc. Ended up getting a butterfly habitat for 9 bucks and it has a coupon to order the caterpillars for 5 bucks too! think we'll take the net out and catch some butterflies. they are thick out in our lantana and it came w/ a pop out book of like 20 or so diff species. it's really cute:) can't wait to do some science-y stuff w/ the kids.
   well, i should go. really need to do laundry. i'm in the 7 load predicament again. i hate laundry. well, i hate it when it gangs up on me. need to get to where i just do a load a day and i could handle that. ughhhh.  i could handle a maid if she only did dishes and laundry. maybe i can ask for that for Christmas.
 Peace out. Short