Interesting ride

Wow, where to even begin. It's been an interesting week. I got to finally come home on Monday, at around 3ish. I'd been told that Saturday was when I would go home, by my GI doc that morning, but when the Attending doc came to check me that night before releasing me, decided I was still WAY too sick to be going home. He even told R that if I were his family member, there's no way he'd allow me to go home. If I went home at that point, and got worse, I could perferate a bowel and need immediate surgery to have a temporary colostomy bag for 6 months?!?!!!! I almost fell out at that point. My GI doc had never mentioned anything of the sort to me. I was so upset, scared, angry....so many things. I basically just sat there and shook my head while the tears fell. R was upset too. I could see it on his face. He was starting to look haggard w/ bloodshot eyes. He's always so calm and quiet in times like these, but he actually looked worried at this point. I started praying. I was ordered another CT scan for the next morning (Sunday) with dye this time. I had to drink a 32 oz bottle of Gatorade w/ the most disgusting taste I'd ever experienced in my life. Gratefully I'd kept my orange jello from b'fast (yes, they switched me BACK to clear liquid diet after having only 2 reg meals. I was so bummed), so i'd down a swig of the dye and a spoon of the jello. I almost hurled a coupla times there at the end. They did my CT Sunday morning and Dr. Ram (yes, Anil Ram, pronounced Rom), was up in my room w/in an hour explaining it to me and my mom. He said my sigmoid colon was still very inflamed, so much that it was slightly strange bc my symptoms didn't match up to the severity of the scan. I wasn't vomiting or didn't have a fever, but by the looks of the CT scan I should be. So, they'd keep me on the liquids and check me in the morning. Hopefully another day or two.

By that night I was finally starting to feel better, w/out any pain meds and could walk w/out bending over in half. I actually was able to get a shower, and walk the halls a bit but exhausted out after only 10 minutes. Finally that night they called the doc and got the okay to take my IV out, which thrilled me to no end. I actually cried tears of joy when the girl took it out bc it had given me so much pain and grief. I hate needles. Or at least, have hated them for the last coupla years. After that, I was fine w/ being in the hospital. Monday morning at 3amish, was my last blood draw, and the girl was much nicer, although she drew from my IV spot---SAME hole. Ugh. omg, i was so done w/ it. But it was fine.

Monday morning, Dr St Martin came in and examined me, actually w/ my CT scan results and labwork all in hand, and okayed me to be released. I wanted to hug him!!! I was alone at the time so forgot to ask him a coupla questions, but left w/ all the info I needed .R was able to come get me around 2 from work, and away we went. I felt like I'd just been let out of prison, walking across the parking lot in my jammies in the beautiful sunny, cloudless day. I got turned around a couple times on the way home, it was so weird. Just being locked away for so long, it messes w/ your memory and mind. I came to realize I could never go to prison, be in solitary, or be a nurse Thankyouverymuch!

Anywho, long saga, but i want to remember it all. I look like a drug addict now, bc it looks like I have track marks in my arms. I have bruising all over the top of one hand, and in the crook of the other arm. From admission to release, I lost over 6 lbs, but I'd say most of that was from my belly swelling going down. I looked 4 months pregnant at least. My stomach's still a bit distended, which the doc said is from my intestines being swollen from the infection. Just craziness.

Being home has been so nice. R has been swapping out the boys every other day, so I'm only alone at home w/ one all day. Times like these I'm so grateful he works for himself and has the ability to do this. Mom had taken off Friday/Monday from school and had cleaned my entire house and caught up the dishes/laundry for me. I've maintained that, which I'm very proud of. I've been avoiding FB drama as much as I can, and thinking deeply about how I want my life to change. Funny how so much time on your back can make you come up with a lot of truth and realizations. I know, for one, I'm not going to put friends before my family. I am always the first to volunteer to do things, bc I want to, and because I'm able, but then I spread myself too thin and somehow it always ends up putting my family 2nd. No more. R has already put me on restriction w/ certain things, and I agree w/ him wholeheartedly. I can't "do it all" and am tired of trying. I'm going to focus more on my kids, school, home and keeping things together on the home front.

It doesn't surprise me that this happened in one of the most stressful months I've had in a long while. The last time I was so ill, it was the most stressful month then as well too. So....the stress has to be dealt with.

As far as now, I am finally starting to feel almost back to normal. Yesterday morning was the 1st day I woke up and was like, WOW, I can tell a big difference. Up til then all I could do was walk to the bathroom and then back to the couch and lay down. I know my body really well, and now am even more hyperaware of every little thing. I've never thought so much about what I put into my mouth, how much I chew, or how regular I am...R and I were joking that we are officially old now, talking about our bowel movements. Good grief!

Dad and I chatted the other night and he said, well, seems we have a family history of colon issues now... That had struck me in the ER as well and it scared the daylights outta me. I'm hoping to be better enough to at least walk the Colon cancer 5k in March. Right now, til the 14th, I am on strict orders to do nothing strenuous or physical of any kind. I had to call in and cancel work for tomorrow. No working out or running. This is never easy for me bc I love it so, and it's a huge stress reliever for me. But I'm good and will do exactly as I'm told. I'm also on a low fiber diet, which is opposite of what I eat now, so had to put a major meal plan/grocery list together for myself. I used the list from the nutrition at the hospital along w/ the Mayo Clinic's "low residue" diet online, and came up w/ a few things I could eat. White rice and bread(all enriched :( ) , no raw fruits or veggies, just soft fruit cups and green beans, carrots and sweet potatoes, only rice crispies or corn flakes...It's challenging, but I'm making do and grateful not to be on broth and jello. hhaa. I'm eating very little. Amazingly the scale hasn't gone down much, but that isn't the goal anyways. I'll take what weightloss I can get from this. It would be nice to drop a clean 20 though, I can't lie. ha.

Well, my saga is over. I forget little details, so wanted this all down. If I ever start eating like crap again, or want to eat 5lbs of strawberries with seeds, I can just look back and remind myself to not be an idiot.

Happy Friday! Time for school!